I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
