Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
