imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
