i was born a porn star she said
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
