my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
