Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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