I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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