:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm just crazy horny about you
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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