i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You are a genius and a whore.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
