yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
