oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
