Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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