Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
