If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
