Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I AM VODKA MAN
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
