He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
