Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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