Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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