Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
