u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
