Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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