idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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