i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
