wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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