i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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