yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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