Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
