I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
