My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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