i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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