Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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