You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
