i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
