I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
