No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
