she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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