"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
