he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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