if i died would you start the facebook group?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
