can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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