he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
