I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
