I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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