i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
They are going to name an STD after you.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
