Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
