i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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