I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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