and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
