Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So squirting runs in the family.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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