Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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