Me too!
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
